My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
MIDGETS
????
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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