cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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