you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just gargled with NyQuil
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
