Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
