I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The best revenge is premature balding
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I intend to get homeless drunk
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
