We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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