We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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