I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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