Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
