Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
