Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize