i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Yo dont text me then not text me
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
