u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
