if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Randomize
