i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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