It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize