he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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