Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Drake has all the answers
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
