I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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