I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
