Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
