Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
