First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
