Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
