I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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