I think I won the penis lottery.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
