what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Randomize
