I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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