If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize