this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
