It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
