guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
