You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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