You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
