Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
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