addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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