oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
