Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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