Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
