Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
