I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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