that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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