OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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