it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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