I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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