I'm drive I can fine osifer
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
