Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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