do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Less talking, more tequila
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
