Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
