My sheets look like a crime scene.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just google imaged poop.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize