SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize