you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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