Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
