Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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