you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
