After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
