Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
