lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
