the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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