I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
