I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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